Back Story
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Scotland
For those of you who are new to The Adventures of Hamish, here is what we know so far.
We met Hamish when out walking one day in Knoydart, in the Highlands of Scotland. He told us he was sick of the rain, and the wind, and the midgies, and when we showed him photos of sun kissed beaches with no midgies or wind, he asked if we would take him away with us. So we spoke to his family (below) and they said it was about time he found his own way in life, so we agreed to show Hamish some of the world.
And so... The Adventures began...
Hamish in the City
Hamish had never seen a city before, in fact he'd never seen more than the odd croft, often abandoned. So many houses, so many people, going on for as far as his little eyes could see, he was a little overawed by it all and he just sat for ages watching and trying to take it all in.
Hamish at the Festival Fireworks
Hamish had never seen fireworks before. I think he was a little scared but he was very brave and barely flinched. During storms in the glens he'd seen lightning and heard thunder, but nothing like this... so many flashes and bangs. I don't think he knew what to make of it, it was so far from anything he'd seen before. He was very quiet as we came off the hill afterwards, I couldn't tell if his little saucer eyes were from shock and awe or just trying to see in the dark.
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Andalucia
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Hamish at the airport
"Niki! Wait for me... wait for me!" Hamish was very excited about the thought of taking his first trip in an aeroplane, even though he didn't know what an aeroplane was! We told him he must have seen them way way up in the sky, flying over the glens. "You mean the giant midgies?" he replied.
Hamish learns to swim
Hamish found it very hot in the sunshine: being a Highlander with a shaggy coat designed for the cold winds and the long dark nights of the glens isn't ideal in the Spanish sun.
So he decided to take up swimming as the pool looked so cool and in no time at all he was swimming away. The pool was lovely and cool, and his shaggy wet coat kept him cool for quite a while when he came out. Instead of doing lengths he found it fun just to swim in the current from the pool jets... it brought back memories of playing in the pools and streams back in the glens of Knoydart with his brothers and sisters, and he got a little melancholy for a while, so we took him to the Post Office and sent them a 'Wish you were here' postcard and that cheered him up again.
The Alhambra
Hamish enjoyed his trip away to Spain so much that he pestered and pestered us to go away again and eventually we gave in.... 'OK Hamish where do you want to go?'.... 'Mexico, Mexico!'...'You're having a laugh, right!?'
Anyway this was Hamish enjoying a sunset view over the Alhambra Palace complex, Granada, Andalucia.
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Central Mexico
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Hamish the flying cow
Hamish thinks he must be the luckiest highland cow ever! He sits for hours watching the landscapes below as he flies over. Sometimes when flying over the scottish highlands and glens we see him taking an extra long look below, I'm sure he misses them all but I'm equally sure he will return one day.
Flying in over the highlands of Central Mexico, he loved the intense blue of the sky over the sun blasted landscape. The mountains were as awesome as those of home but in a different way... you could see them ;o)
He's confused on something though and sadly I haven't been able to help him. He isn't sure what he is, he comes from a clan of Highland Cattle but he's a boy so in his singular existence is he a Highland Cattle or a Highland Cow? He's fairly sure he isn't a Highland Cat, he's seen them in the hills and they're mean.. and he thinks cows are girl cattle and he doesn't want people to think he's a girl, although the way he faffs about with his hair I sometimes wonder ;o)
The city of many colors
Hamish never did explain to us why he wanted to go to Central Mexico, we thought he just liked the sun. However once we'd got there he began behaving very strangely, dancing around and muttering things like, 'very soon', 'map', 'lost treasure' etc. We couldn't quite hear all that he was saying and then he would just go out and sit looking over the city for ages muttering away. He loved the colors though, a lot nicer than just all white. We asked him what was wrong but he wouldn't say anything other than he needed us to get him a map of the area and a shovel! Strange little fellow... and have you any idea how difficult it is to find a Hamish sized shovel in the middle of Mexico?!
Once he'd got his map and shovel he took us off into the hills one day and following his little map he took us to a grove of trees and there inside was a hole! So down we went into the bowels of the earth until we came to a dead end... and then Hamish told us to wait as he disappeared into a little Hamish sized hole. After waiting for what seemed like forever, he returned, peeked out, had a look around, smiled and came out carrying a little bag. He wouldn't say what was in it and then off we went back to the surface. Hamish looked elated.
Later that day we told him that we couldn't carry on like this and needed to know what he was up to.
So it turned out that about 400 years ago a ship was driven ashore on the coast of Knoydart near to where Hamish's clan lived. There were no survivors other than a very small, lone Highland Cow, that made it ashore and this little highlander related a story of how he'd been held captive on this ship for many years as it had traveled from Scotland to new worlds far away in the directions of the setting sun. He'd been held captive with some other very small cows so as to provide the crew with milk and also to tow carts for them when they went ashore. They'd been specially bred to be small so they didn't take up a lot of room on the ship and also so they could tow carts down deep holes in the ground where the crew searched for precious metals. One day he stumbled across something hidden deep within one of these holes, through a gap that only he could pass because he was small enough to squeeze through. He marked that place on a map which he'd kept hidden ever since, for fear that the crew would find it and find out about the secret he'd found in that hole.
The small highlander stayed with the clan from that day forth until the day he died, when the map and the secret were passed on to the clan for safe keeping, and they've guarded the secret ever since. And they waited....
They waited for almost four centuries until one day a highlander was born that was vertically challenged and so would be able to squeeze through the gap in the hole that led to the secret.... and so from the moment Hamish was born it had been his destiny to find a way back to the place of secrets and he'd trained for many years for his mission.
Wow, what an amazing story we said... and what is the secret we asked?
He looked at us and whispered 'Can you keep a secret?', we replied in unison 'yes'.
Hamish replied 'So can I'.
'What!?, you're joking?', and he replied 'Sorry... oh, and I was wondering if we can go to south east asia now... please?'... he's a demanding little highlander is Hamish.
And then he added... 'But first I need to go to London.'
Hamish with his shovel
An aside: So, while Hamish had us out in Mexico on his quest, you wouldn't believe what happened!
We came back into town one day after he'd had us out searching all day and we walked past this bar and would you believe it, there on TV in the middle of central Mexico was a Scotland football match. Now I'm no football fan so I can't recall who they were playing but it seemed like fate so we sat and had a beer and watched the game and even though I don't watch football I know enough to know that we don't ever win any games but unbelievably we were winning and I seem to recall it was a good team they were beating, someone like Spain or Holland, it all seemed to surreal to be true but honestly we were winning. Well.... they were winning right up until the last 10 minutes and then as usual we blew it.
Hamish it would appear still remembers those halcyon days of the '78 World Cup though.... and he was certainly enjoying himself as he sang away and drank his Sol and drowned the memories...
- We're on the march wi' Ally's Army,
- We're going tae the Argentine,
- And we'll really shake them up,
- When we win the World Cup,
- 'Cos Scotland is the greatest football team,
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- We're representing Britain,
- And we're gaunny do or die,
- England cannae dae it,
- 'Cos they didnae qualify!
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- We're on the march wi' Ally's Army,
- we're going tae the Argentine,
- And we'll really shake them up,
- When we win the World Cup,
- 'Cos Scotland is the greatest football team,
.
.
not!
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England
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Hamish!... Where are you?!
On our return to Scotland, Hamish wouldn't stop pestering me until I booked a trip for us to London, he still wouldn't say why.
And this is how Hamish and I ended up trapped on a train for several hours as snow storms battered the UK..... and then the lights and power died.
Dark
So although we were finally rescued from our snow trapped train, it looks like we only just made it! I have a facility on my camera called trap focus, where you pre-focus on a spot and when something moves into the frame, the camera fires. Well although I was a bit dubious of Hamish's claim to have seen wolves I did think I was hearing some strange sounding noises so I thought while we were waiting to be rescued I'd try it out and set it up to take a shot if anything moved into frame outside our carriage window.
Wow, did I get a shock when I got home and processed the photos, I hadn't seen it at the time because the lights were just starting to come back on in the train after the rescue train had hooked up some power for us, and everyone was cheering so I never heard the shutter firing..... at the time I thought Hamish was just shivering from the cold when I looked at him... and I suppose thinking about it, his hair did seem to be standing even more on end!
Lucky or what?
The Great Hall of Records
And so it was to London and the great hall of records that Hamish led us, where he spent the whole day scurrying about from place to place, looking at stone carvings and taking endless notes. He spent a lot of time in front of the Rosetta Stone and reading ancient hieroglyphs.
And when he came back to us, he told us 'The code is not yet cracked, the secret is safe, our journey has only just begun..... follow me!' and off he flew out the door .....
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Hamish and the mystery key
And this is what he'd found, he knew the code lay within and was calling to him, 'Hamish'..'Haggite'... there was no doubt, coming from the Glens of Knoydart where the Haggis still run free, he knew this had to be a clue, it had to be... 'Haggite' was a key that would help him unravel another part of the mystery. But what was it a key for, what did it mean, where would it lead..... and then he narrowed his eyes and looked around... 'sshhhh' he said, I can feel her presence, it's Morag, she's close, she musn't see us, she musn't learn what we've found and whoosh he was off again.....
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South East Asia
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Hamish and the mini temple
Hamish was so excited as we entered the great temple complex in Bangkok, he wouldn't tell us and hadn't told us why, but for weeks before he'd kept on muttering 'they built it for me, it's there, I must go... the next clue lies within'. And so we traveled half way round the planet so that he could follow his destiny and his clues.
He rushed ahead past all of the ginormous golden temples and we struggled to keep up until we saw him turn a corner far ahead and skid to a halt. We could see him frozen staring at something out of sight round the corner and as we turned the corner we froze too... I wouldn't have believed it unless I'd seen it with my own eyes, but there in the grounds of the Grand Palace among numerous great human temples and the Royal Pantheon was a exact scale Hamish sized replica model of the Great Temple of Angkor Wat in Cambodia. We stood speechless for what seemed like forever and then Hamish approached and climbed the steps, on reaching the top he trotted off to the far end of the temple. We couldn't see properly as this bit is closed off to humans, but we could see enough to see that he had stopped in front of a stone wall at the top on another set of steps. He was side on to us and as we watched he started to push his nose repeatedly against the wall. What on earth is he doing we thought and then there was a rumbling and a shard of light leaped forth from a crack appearing in the wall. The wall was a doorway which was now opening and Hamish was bathed in the most golden of light as the hidden entrance opened fully. He looked round towards us and smiled and then went into the light.... and the wall closed up behind him!
Still speechless we sat down and waited, and waited ... and waited. 3 hours we waited until we felt something pushing in between us where we sat and looking down there he was. 'What happened? Where have you been?' we asked. Hamish told us that on the wall there was an inscription and when he looked at it he saw straight away that there was a single occurrence of each of the letters from the word 'Haggite' that he had previously discovered in the Great Hall of Records. He knew this must be a key and so he had pressed each letter in turn and sure enough it had led to the hidden doorway opening. Once inside he had had to navigate through a maze full of traps such as collapsing passageways, and passageways that flooded as he entered them but he managed to pass through each one just like 'Indie' he said, until finally he reached the center of the maze and there he found the next clue. After that he'd followed another passageway that had led him out through a hidden tunnel and brought him back to the surface.
So what now we asked.... He smiled a big moo smile and said 'We need to go into the jungle, we need to find the ruined temple protected by the stone monsters, there lies the next clue.'
The Talking Tree
After two days of trekking through the jungle, we were beginning to think that Hamish had got it wrong this time and then, just when we were about to stop him and say enough is enough, deep in the jungle we came across another clue... a talking tree. It spoke in a tongue we didn't understand but yet again Hamish amazed us as he relayed that another part of his long and arduous training for his quest had been the study of ancient and long dead languages. We waited and Hamish listened until the tree face turned to stone again and Hamish was able to tell us that we were on the right path and in fact we were getting very close but that there were dangers ahead, very dangerous dangers! Just great we thought.
Hamish then came out with a classic... 'I think one of you should take point for a change', and he even managed to keep an entirely innocent look on his little cow face.
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The Temple of Doom
So it wasn't long after the talking tree that we came upon a clearing and in the distance, over the ruins of ancient temples we saw it, just as he had described, a ruined temple with stone effigies all around it, they certainly looked like monsters from out there. Hamish looked at it for a while as if in contemplation then said, 'it looks very scary, let's call it 'the temple of doom', he said it in that way that cows do, with a big moo in the oo bit, so that it sounded like the temple of dooooommm. 'Let's not', we said in unison, but he just gave us another large 'dooooommm' and continued onwards at which point I pointed out that I thought he wanted one of us to go point... 'oh yes, good idea, I better protect the rear in case they sneak round behind us'.
'In case who sneaks behind us?' we asked. 'Nobody' he answered, using his innocent face with big saucer eyes.... mmmmm, so on we went... Hamish forming a rearguard of one.
Stickin the heid in...
It was almost the end of us and nearly the end of Hamish too.... we didn't see it but Hamish from his rearguard position had. As we passed the stone monster guarding the entrance to the temple complex he'd seen the beast turn it's head, but it hadn't seen the small highlander following us and just as it was about to pounce Hamish acted.
Now Hamish might be small but his training for his mission had been long, complex and strenuous and as we were to find out after our near death experience, it turns out he is a black belt in the ancient Scottish combat art of 'Stickin the heid in', which is exactly what he did, he threw himself heid first into the jaws of the beast, now this might at first seem like a suicidal strategy, but the beast was completely taken by surprise and before it could do anything Hamish had jammed his horns in its jaw so it was unable to close it's mouth, then in one swift move he swiveled round and used his body to block the beasts windpipe. The beast unable to breath staggered around for a few moments before collapsing and turning back to stone, and Hamish emerged from the jaws of death, a little bit sticky but otherwise unharmed :o)
'Aye, that was close' he said 'I thought he was gonnae boak, that's the only defence against the stickin the heid in attack, still that'll teach him to mess wi' a highlander'.
'Hamish... mind your language!' Niki blurted out.
And then it was onward again, the remaining stone guardians remained motionless, I guess they were in fear of the great warrior Hamish and he was able to find the next piece of the mystery.
Scottish Vernacular Translations:
- Aye: yes
- Boak: to throw up, to be sick
- Gonnae: going to
- Heid: head
Hamish the Brave
Hamish did have to negotiate one last hurdle before he reached his goal, but by now we had realised there was pretty much nothing that could or would stop him, so it seemed almost trivial, but as he climbed the terraced steps leading up to the entrance to the temple of dooooommm he triggered one of the traps the ancient builders had laid and a great torrent of water descended, soaking Hamish. Of course to anyone else this might have been a problem but to a highlander use to trekking up and down the muddy Glens of Knoydart, where it rains and rains and then rains some more, he just shrugged, in fact I'm sure he felt like he was back home in his beloved Scotland again as he began to sing 'Hark when the night is falling. Hear! hear the pipes are calling, loudly and proudly calling, down thro' the glen...' and he carried on climbing up the steps.
Scotland the Brave
- Hark when the night is falling,
- Hear! hear the pipes are calling,
- Loudly and proudly calling,
- Down thro' the glen.
- There where the hills are sleeping,
- Now feel the blood a-leaping,
- High as the spirits of the old Highland men.
-
- Chorus
- Towering in gallant fame,
- Scotland my mountain hame,
- High may your proud standards gloriously wave,
- Land of my high endeavour,
- Land of the shining river,
- Land of my heart for ever,
- Scotland the brave.
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- High in the misty Highlands
- Out by the purple islands,
- Brave are the hearts that beat
- Beneath Scottish skies.
- Wild are the winds to meet you,
- Staunch are the friends that greet you,
- Kind as the love that shines from fair maidens' eyes.
- Chorus
-
- Far off in sunlit places
- Sad are the Scottish faces,
- Yearning to feel the kiss
- Of sweet Scottish rain.
- Where the tropics are beaming
- Love sets the heart a-dreaming,
- Longing and dreaming for the hameland again.
And once again Hamish disappeared for some time before emerging with a triumphant smile on his face. "I have the next clue!"
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Highland and Islands
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The Beach
Hamish loved his day by the beach, it was so sunny and sandy, with gentle lapping waves. He so wanted to see the beach, he'd been asking for ages and we'd let him down a bit as we'd been promising ever since he found us that we would take him to a beach and we hadn't.
He scampered round and round, paddled along the shore and rolled in the sand, he was very happy.
I think he was also glad to just have a day away from all the planning...
The Island
Eigg... I need to go to Eigg!
Okay Hamish calm down we told him.... it had been a long time coming, he'd been working away on his clues and translations, researching away, but we knew the day would come. 'Ok, so you need to go to Eigg, when would you like to go?'... 'Easter' he replied, and we fell onto the floor laughing. 'Why are you laughing?', he asked, as he jumped up and down on his little hoofs. 'Easter... Eigg... very funny Hamish, can we go back to watching tv now?'. 'I'm serious, seriously... I need to go to Eigg, that's when the legends say they will be there, it's the only time of the year they'll be there.'
'Who'll be there, Hamish?'... 'The mootalkers', and we fell on the floor laughing again. 'Seriously, I need to go to Eigg, at Easter, they will be there, we just need to find the clue'. 'What clue?', we asked. 'The clue that will tell us where they'll be of course.'
'You mean you don't even know where these mootalkers will be!?, and in any case, what is a mootalker?'
'Take me there and you will see', was all he said!
So off we went to Eigg at Easter and we walked round and round, over mountains and along beaches until we found him looking at this rock. 'It's the clue, I know it is, it must mean something, a pyramid, five stars maybe?' He asked us what we thought but we couldn't think what it could be. So we walked back, and all the time Hamish was muttering away to himself about what it could mean.
Then with a great moooo, he told us he'd figured it out, it was another code he said, it was a mountain, not a pyramid, and the five dots stood for five peaks. So we needed to look for a range of five mountain peaks, and as we looked out to sea towards the Isle of Rum we wondered where that place could be... and then we all turned and stared at each other as the realisation dawned. 'It's them isn't it, he whispered, it's the mountains on Rum' and we whispered our agreement. But there also came the realisation that there are so many places that have The Isle of Rum as a background, and his face dropped. I was smiling though, because I knew that for once I was able to help him. 'It's the beach I told him, remember that amazing beach, where the mountains are constantly being mirrored in the sand with each new wave. It's got to be there,' and in my heart I knew I was right.
And Hamish smiled as we headed off towards the beach...
Made in Scotland from girders
And there they were, the mootalkers of legend. Hamish had done it again, decoding the message that led us to this magical place. The 5 peaks sat as predicted in the background and we knew this was a special moment.
Hamish though was barely able to talk, we'd never seen him like this. With what little words escaped his mouth he explained that the mootalkers were old beyond ancient, older almost than time itself. They know things he said... things we have all forgotten, and the legends say they will appear only for the chosen one...
Anyway we told him best not to keep them waiting then and we gave him some Irn Bru to put some color back into him :o)
The Gathering
As Hamish started towards them a youngling turned and watched him approach. Hamish, small of size, but large of heart did not flinch from his path, the amber nectar had worked it's magic and he continued onward.
And then as if some silent message had passed between them all, they knelt as he entered into the mooclave. We stayed hidden in our hidden hidey hole in the dunes, amazed at the scene unfolding before us. As the mootalkers gathered round Hamish, we listened as a lowing sound emanated from the mooclave. And we waited as the minutes turned into hours.
Hamish was shaking when he returned, he could barely speak again... they knew of me! They've been waiting, aeons, they said they'd been waiting for the coming of the little one, the one small enough to enter the eigg chamber...
They told me I have to go to the land of the long dead giants where the fossilized eggs remain and I will find a broken eigg, and Inside the eigg chamber is... , well actually they don't know what's inside the eigg which is why they've been waiting all this time for someone as small as me to appear, as they're all too big to get in!
'Let's go', and off he ran ...
The Broken Eigg
And so we came to the place of the long dead giants. We didn't know whether it had been one giant nest or lots of little ones but there were fossilized eiggs everywhere, and there in the middle lay a broken eigg. Hamish was beside himself when he found it and the Hamish sized chamber beckoned him. With barely a stop for breath he went racing ahead and entered the chamber. We tried to shout a warning, as who knows what sneaky traps there might have been but luckily it appeared this time there were none. We could see Hamish inside staring up at the roof of the chamber. After what seemed like an eternity he emerged just like a newly hatched Hamish. 'Well, what did you find?' we asked. Hamish looked puzzled and said he didn't know what he'd found, some ancient words he thought, or maybe some ancient mathematical equation, but it's was all heiroglyphics to him as he hadn't seen the symbols before.
Hamish in his training had studied many ancient dialects, including many lost to man and beast an eternity ago, but yet he hadn't seen these symbols before.
'Maybe the symbols got scrambled when the eigg broke, I need to go and mootalk with the mootalkers' he said.
So off we went back to the beach and with great excitement the mootalkers lined up along the beach and Hamish drew the symbols in the sand. There was a great hush and then the mootalkers began to give each other strange looks. 'What is it?' Hamish asked? The chief moo spoke... 'This is a very ancient tongue, so ancient it is very old, and we can barely remember how it is spake. We agree though about what it says, but alas we do not know what it means.'
'What does it say, what does it say?' Hamish pleaded as he ran up and down the line of mootalkers.
It says .... 'Talk to the mohican monkey.'
'What?'
It says .... 'Talk to the mohican monkey,' of this we are sure but as to what it means alas we know not what it means.
The Death Slide
Hamish was devastated, he felt he was on such a roll on eigg. Things had been going so well: to have witnessed the appearance of the mootalkers and to have mootalked with them; to have learned of new clues in his quest. But then to have all of his hopes scrambled was almost too much for him.
Still his training had prepared him for these moments and he knew he had to carry on, so we searched everywhere, spending hours into days wandering the beaches and mountains of Eigg as we pondered on the meaning of the mohican monkey.
One day Hamish found a tiny moo cave at the top of a death weed slide, it took all his training to scale the slide, time and time again he slid back, as the death tentacles tried to pierce his furry coat. He was sure there must be something in the moo cave it was protected so well, but when he finally reached the cave it was empty.
Later in the day as we traversed a distant cliff face, we stopped for a picnic and enjoyed the view across to Rum. As we lay basking in the sunshine we suddenly realised Hamish wasn't with us and as we turned to look for him, our jaws dropped.... yet again he'd done it, he'd figured out what no-one else had ever figured out and we watched as Hamish approached the mohican monkey....
The Mohican Monkey
We watched enthralled as Hamish jumped along the edge of the abyss until he stopped and looked up into the face of a stone monkey with a mohican haircut! Who'd have thought!?
And then it spoke, it's voice booming as it echoed around the cauldron. Small rocks began to fall into the abyss and the rocky edge on which Hamish sat began to shake. Hamish turned slowly to look at us with a look of terror in his eyes as he hung on for dear life. We gave him a thumbs up as encouragement and he turned back to listen to the stone monkey.
'Who goes there? it's voice boomed out.
'It is I, Hamish' he replied.
'Where are you?
'I'm here'
'Where?'
'Down here' Hamish shouted above the echoes bouncing around the cliff face.
With a great rumble the stone monkey tilted it's head down... 'Ahh, there you are... you are very small... and very furry!'
Hamish was getting into his stride now, small though his stride is, and he looked unfazed as he told the monkey 'I may be small and furry but I am brave and strong and fearless and I am here to learn the secret you have kept for all these years.
'Ah the secret... indeed... and what is the magic password?
Hamish turned to look at us with a look of confusion on his little cow face, and we looked back equally confused and shrugged our shoulders. Hamish turned back and quietly said 'Is it please?'
'It's ok, I'm only teasing' said the monkey, 'there is no magic password, I have been waiting a long time for the legend to come true, for the little furry orange one to appear. This is a day I thought would never come to pass.'
And then the winds began to swirl and a darkness began to surround us as earth and grass and stone lifted into the air and began to spiral round like a tornado and there in the calm centre we could see the monkey talking to Hamish, but the roar drowned out the words. And then as quickly as it had started the wind stopped and everything came crashing back to earth.
The monkey turned once again to stone and Hamish came back to us. 'Well what did it tell you?', we asked. 'Eigg Nog' was his reply as he bounded off towards the beach.
Eigg Nog
We caught up with Hamish on the beach where he was perched on a rock looking out towards Rum, with the Atlantic rollers crashing onto the beach. 'So what did it mean?' we asked him... 'Isn't it obvious, Eigg Nog, you make it with Rum! There, out there, it's been sitting there all this time, always in view, dominating everywhere, the Isle of Rum, that's where I must go now.'
But how will you get there we asked and with that he flung himself into the water and disappeared into the surf.
We never saw Hamish again....
Niki cried all night and we held a vigil on the beach for him the next morning, where he'd mootalked with the mootalkers, but alas there was not a sign except for a small tuft of orange furry fluff that we found floating in the surf.
.
The End
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Credits:
All images © 2010-2016 Scott Masterton