Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.

Approximately 7% of U.S citizens over the age of 18 have depression. 7% sounds like a small number. 7% is equal to the sales tax in some states. People pay that without blinking an eye, having already figured it into the cost of their purchase.

I know 100 people. The thought that 7 of those people are sad bothers me. I actually know several hundred people (backed up by Facebook when I'm in doubt), so that number goes up exponentially.

Suddenly, I want to hug everyone.

I've danced with depression many times. We're close associates. My depression knows me better than My Companion does. It should, it has been in my life longer.

My form is very mild, especially compared to many I know. I slide offline and away from my "real life" friends for a few days, feeling apathetic. Then I come back all sunshine and roses. There's no set pattern, I'm never sure when it'll appear.

I've tried to correlate this with the Stress Starvation, and there doesn't seem to be a tie-in. I can predict the Stress Starving; the depression shows up like a super awful surprise birthday party.

Once upon a time, I tried the meds. The doc gave me Prozac. Side effects of Prozac can vary, of course. For me they were... we'll say less than pleasant.

I already have extremely vivid, colorful dreams. I love them. They tell stories that are engaging and honest. When I added Prozac to the list, they became a living nightmare.

I've done acid. Quite a few times. I've had bad trips. Those didn't scare me nearly as much as the Prozac dreams.

I became afraid to sleep, and was exhausted all the time. Insomnia induced by meds that were supposed to help cure something that caused insomnia, with added anxiety and straight up fear on top.

I had to nope away from that.

I've battled my way through without meds for the most part, because when I think about taking something like Prozac again, my sphincter tightens. Seriously.

I tried to quit smoking cigarettes using Wellbutrin several years back. That was effective for a short period. I didn't have the bad dreams. How could I? I never slept.

A lot of people have seen the gif of the squirrel on coffee. Imagine if they gave that squirrel crack. That was me on Wellbutrin after the fourth day, on the lowest possible dosage.

After that, I was completely done with the meds. I feared I would develop a PTSD feeling from it. I'm not saying that meds aren't useful. If you are suffering from depression, I highly recommend talking to the doc about it.

Depression can slide in, all sneaky. Elite SEAL style. Sometimes I don't realize it's there until it's established residency. Sometimes I ride it out, sometimes I try to power through it.

I'm reminded of a character created by John Sanford. The Davenport books are simply awesome. As are the Virgil Flowers ones. Davenport is a top cop who suffers from depression. A big, macho guy who used to play hockey in college, he admits the darkness can be extreme, and now takes the meds when needed.

Sanford has no problem walking his reader through the dark thoughts and feelings Davenport has. Several of the books in the middle of the series display it, damn near proudly. It's because of writers like him that I am able to look at my own depression realistically.

Jonathan Kellerman is another honest author. He writes about child psychologist Alex Delaware. A lot of his books deal with psychological issues, both in children and in children that have been treated and have grown to adulthood.

Not all of the stories have happy endings.

I'm reading his recent release Breakdown. There's a fantastic quote about depression that stuck with me.

"When curiosity goes, a lot else has already vanished."

I stopped reading, grabbed my phone, and put that quote in my notes so I could look at it later. And I've looked at it many times.

It's a simple statement, but is so true that it hurts.

That's how I recognize my depression. When I'm in the middle of the dance, I don't care about anything. It's when I see that, that I can admit something is wrong and my spirits start to turn.

I am one of the most curious people in the world. I have no suicidal ideation, but I've acknowledged that it's my wanting to know what happens tomorrow that keeps me going. Even if I'm riding a tide of shit news and events, I'm curious how much worse it can get. Or I'll wonder what the turning point will be when things start to go my way again.

But if I'm not wondering, I'm not living. It's part of what makes me want to be a writer. Because I have questions about what would happen if... and I want to drag people along to discover the answer.

7% of the people you know are suffering from depression. They're dancing their way through apathy, harmful thoughts, and complete sadness. You could be one of the 7% and not even know you're participating in this prom from Hell.

If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, please seek help. Below is a link to a hotline and several helpful websites.

If you'd like to talk or share your experience, my links are always open, as are comments. I'll approve anything that isn't a troll or sales. You can also contact me several different ways.