Dating Violence: Stumbling Through The Shards Of a Broken Heart By: Daymiond Cuevas
Dating violence affects 1.5 million teens in the U.S per year. Acts of violence are not only physical, but also mental and verbal. Both girls and boys can suffer from acts of dating violence.
Some teens believe dating violence is acceptable. It may happen to those who witness dating violence or abuse from a young age and assume it is normal as adults.There are many factors that contribute to dating violence the child being raised in a household where violence is acceptable or when the teenager experiences their first relationship and there is dating violence involved.
Mrs.Leibowitz, Student Assistant Counselor at DHS states that “The natural human instinct is a desire to be loved or wanted. I also think that it's ignorance as well. That most teens just don't know what a healthy relationship is so their standard is pretty low.”
Many of those who experience dating violence are depressed, anxious, or have other symptoms of trauma according to the Center for Disease Control. Others may display aggression towards peers or display other aggressive behaviors.
Multiple dating violence cases involve the use of drugs or illegal substances. Some use these drugs as a route to try to escape dating violence, while others who use these drugs may end up abusing their significant others. Partners who engage in early sexual activity and have multiple sexual partners tend to have a more likely chance to experience dating violence.
Mrs. Liebowitz deals with students going through dating violence if they seek her out. She provides confidential help for students, or she will refer them to an outside therapist. If the student's physical safety is an issue, then she will contact parents to ensure the student’s safety.
To help a friend involved in dating violence that is having conflicts with a partner, Mrs. Leibowitz states that “friends should allow their friend to talk about their feelings and do their best to help them see the bigger picture.”
One in three teens in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner or a significant other, an amount that surpassess all other types of teen violence. It is not only girls that experience the physical abuse but also boys. One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. The four types of abuse include:
Mrs. Leibowitz states that dating violence is common at DHS, however physical violence is the least of it. Verbal abuse such manipulating, yelling and screaming is more common in DHS than physical violence. Some signs of dating violence are when the person involved in a relationship is always required to check in on their phone, they had a time limit to respond to the boyfriend or girlfriend, or if the boyfriend is controlling who they hang out with controlling and what they wear. Also if a friend pulls away from you that is another sign of dating violence.
Often times our friends and peers may not know how to help, though they can listen. Friends should allow their friend to talk about their feelings and do their best to help them see the bigger picture. To help friend see the picture and if they are concerned they must talk to an adult.
When Mrs. Leibowitz discussed how can boys feel more comfortable talking to someone about their own situation of violence, she further states, “ It depends on personality. It takes one, two, three guys in a school to create some sort of event. There has to be some effort and passion put behind it, to know what you're talking about.”
Some strategies Mrs.Leibowitz suggested that help stop dating violence is to know what a healthy relationship is and to set standards high. Another is to tell an adult that you trust or are comfortable with. The people to best go to for dating violence help is any trusted adult. On many occasions students come to her about dating violence, she told me that most of the students had talked to their parents before coming to talk to her for help.
Students are encouraged to visit Loveisrespect.org, to get more information on dating violence. It includes everything students need to know about dating abuse, how to help others, and further resources. It also helps people recognize if they themselves are an abuser.
